Family Med Match

[goldrays]

I matched in the middle of my rank list and I've been feeling sad for the past couple of days even though it's truly a great program. I had built up so much anticipation to Match Day because everyone describes as the best day of their lives, but for me, it was a day of feeling like I failed. I matched but not where I wanted to be and I feel like no one ever really talks about being in this position. I acknowledge that there are people who would love to be in this spot and to have a spot, but right now, I just can't feel that love.

I don't know what I did wrong in my interviews for my top programs or if I should have been more persistent on post-interview communication, but it is what it is.

I just wanted to know if anyone in this situation had any advice on getting over the disappointment or how long it took to feel happy again. I'm trying my best to focus on the positives like looking forward to graduation and being at a program relatively close to home. I just want to stop feeling defeated so I can start my intern year with a brighter outlook because I know attitude is a huge determinant of success.

Thank you for reading.

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[Waraba]

I know someone that had a similar situation, i.e. disappointed at how far down the list they matched, not so much disappointment in the program. IIRC there was strong sadness for a day or two then disappointment for a week or two. Then resignation and getting more on an even keel. Survival instinct will kick in anyway for intern year. If you are normally a pessimistic person, I'd guess later that you might find more fault with your program than you might have had it been higher on your list, but maybe not. I think you will be fine...

 

[smq123]

I matched in the middle of my rank list and I've been feeling sad for the past couple of days even though it's truly a great program. I had built up so much anticipation to Match Day because everyone describes as the best day of their lives, but for me, it was a day of feeling like I failed. I matched but not where I wanted to be and I feel like no one ever really talks about being in this position. I acknowledge that there are people who would love to be in this spot and to have a spot, but right now, I just can't feel that love.

I don't know what I did wrong in my interviews for my top programs or if I should have been more persistent on post-interview communication, but it is what it is.

I just wanted to know if anyone in this situation had any advice on getting over the disappointment or how long it took to feel happy again. I'm trying my best to focus on the positives like looking forward to graduation and being at a program relatively close to home. I just want to stop feeling defeated so I can start my intern year with a brighter outlook because I know attitude is a huge determinant of success.

Thank you for reading.

It has annoyed me that there is so much build up about Match Day being "the first day of the rest of your life!!!"

At the end of intern year, at least a dozen friends, former classmates, and acquaintances had either tried, or were considering, changing programs or specialties. This includes people who had matched into their number one choice.

Consider it like marriage. There's a lot of hype about the wedding, but how many people go on to get divorced? Or stay in miserable, loveless marriages?

I cannot count the number of people that I know who have ended up someplace different than where they matched. So please ignore the artificial sense of finality that people assign to the match. It is mostly a lot of displaced hype.

 

[temoojin]

You are not alone.

I'm in the same boat. I know the program I matched is strong, but the location isn't my favorite. I was psyched on being in any of the cities higher on my list and feel like a bit of a failure for going so low on my list. I opened the email and immediately felt disappointment, no joy. Ugh. I know its only 3 years and I know I'll be trained to handle everything, I just felt really good about the programs I ranked higher.

My SO has put up with me making us move 2x in the past 4 years and now this. Another one to somewhere we aren't in love with. I feel like I'm ruining their time, too.

 

[JonMonkey]

To be honest I think things have a way of working themselves out and people end up where they are supposed to end up. I was in the same boat 4 years ago. I knew I ultimately just wanted to match but had several places higher on my list that I was very excited about. In hindsight the place I matched into was the best for me. It turned out to be a truly incredible residency experience. It positioned me very well and provided an easy transition into an awesome fellowship spot. Considering the way I felt when I open my match day email...if I had to go back and do it all over again I honestly believe that I would go the same route. Best of luck and congrats on matching.

 

[goldrays]

Update:

After a few days of being depressed, it kind of just went away when I saw the awesome cohort I'm going to be part of. I already have a few friends in the area and I'm really excited for the upcoming year. I realized the program actually fits my goals better than the other programs I ranked higher but I got trapped with the allure of fancy cities and cush programs. I think it's meant to be. I was worried about not enough things to do in my free time only to realize that I won't have much of that anyway. Even if it's not the most exciting location, I still have golden weekends and when I finish residency, I am free to go elsewhere. And at the end of the day, all I really want is to be a good doctor who can take care of people in my community.

Thanks for your wonderful comments.

 

[VenusinFurs]

I matched at my number 6 spot, it ended up being great, and I am real smart now