Daycare vs. Aupair vs. Nanny - Childcare Issues?

[mshheaddoc]

Just found out that one of my husband's former classmates is due in January. One of the big freakouts was childcare. She doesn't want to take a lot of time off her intern year for obvious reasons, so we got into a great discussion over childcare issues. Many people might move for school/residency with no extended family support. What have you done with your children (especially younger ones!) while you had to attend class/work? How are things working out?

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[LADoc00]

Just found out that one of my husband's former classmates is due in January. One of the big freakouts was childcare. She doesn't want to take a lot of time off her intern year for obvious reasons, so we got into a great discussion over childcare issues. Many people might move for school/residency with no extended family support. What have you done with your children (especially younger ones!) while you had to attend class/work? How are things working out?

former nanny has been convicted of killing a 22-month-old Palo Alto girl by hitting the child on the head so hard she never regained consciousness.
Claudia "Gaby" Granados of Tracy faces 25 years to life in prison when she is sentenced in Santa Clara County Superior Court on Aug. 1.
"I always worry about these cases, right up to the very end, but I was grateful and relieved the jury got it, they understood," said Santa Clara County Deputy District Attorney Dan Fehderau.
John Cahners, Granados' attorney, did not return a call from the Mercury News for comment. He has described his client in the past as "a woman that loves children."
Granados had worked as a nanny for Denise Provost and William Howell for about a year before allegedly killing their daughter, Sarah, in September.
Less than two hours after the Palo Alto couple left their home, Granados called a neighbor to say Sarah was not breathing. The neighbor called 911. When emergency workers arrived, the child was "limp and blue."
Medical examiners later testified that Sarah Howell had received six blows to the head before she died.
Sarah's parents could not be reached for comment. They have declined to discuss their daughter's death in the past.

The dad was a Stanford resident.

(chill goes down spine)

 

[mshheaddoc]

Not exactly where I was wanting to go with the conversation, but thanks for sharing.

 

[Jejton]

We will be putting our baby in the on-campus day care this year when my wife starts working ( i will be MS1). Let me tell you that its nerve wracking ( he'll be a year then and our first ). The main advantage of a (reputable) daycare over a nanny or au pair is that you usually know more who you are dealing with because if its licensed there will be records ( should be ) of any problems plus you can talk to many other parents and see the credentials of teachers and such. There are also many regulations that have to be followed to keep the center's license. With an au pair or nanny, you are taking a chance because very rarely will you be able to talk to more than a couple of other people who have used her. Most of them are foreigners coming through agencies or even illegals ( i have nothing against either ) which makes accountability and background checks impossible. Even with agency au pairs, you have to trust that the agency does a full background check and if the person is from another country you will have a hard time verifying anything from their country of origin. Another major advantage of a daycare is that their is more social interaction. Young children get bored easily and need lots of stimulation and interaction to develop. It is hard for one person with one child to provide much of that unless you allow the nanny/au pair to take the child places like the playground and such and even then you cant really compare. The one major downside to daycare centers is that good, quality daycare centers are not that common and when you do find one ( at least in a big city ) there is a long waiting list.

 

[Pemberley]

Not exactly where I was wanting to go with the conversation, but thanks for sharing.

I really hate that... any time the conversation turns to day care, somebody (often somebody who's trying to convince you that you're an irresponsible uncaring unfeminine neglectful mother if you're not a SAHM) says "did you hear about the one that just got arrested for..."

I've heard a lot of people saying to use a college student for a back-up plan in case the kid is out sick and both parents have to work. I'm a little confused -- don't the college students have classes?

 

[TexasRose]

I've used daycares over the years and never been very impressed by them. There was one big exception and that was the daycare program at the university where I took my prereqs. Tmany of the head teachers had worked there for 10+ years and all the assistants were college students majoring in education or something similar. Fantastic place.

We had an au pair during my 2nd and 3rd years of med school. That worked extremely well for us because she was able to take care of lots of little details, like the kids' laundry, that made life much easier. Also, she was there in our house all the time, so if I was on call and hubby was working late or out of town we had an adult in the house, whereas daycares close around 6:30pm.

 

[f_w]

My wife and I have a full-time nanny. She had worked for one of our patients for many years is married, a trained elementary school teacher and we where very lucky to find her. We have her as a regular full-time employee (no agency) including all the goodies the goverment has in store for you (as employer). The cost is considerable and certainly beyond what we could have afforded as residents.

Nannys are only a problem in regards to background checks immigration law etc. if you (have to) do it on the cheap and pay cash. In that case, you might indeed be better off with a reputable daycare.

 

[businescares]

Nanny care is the best opted by parents these days for their child care. A nanny is someone experienced and/or qualified in child care. Nannies are employed by parents to care for their children in the family home, and they will be suitable for parents who need flexible childcare. Many nannies are mainly motivated by love the struggle for power usually does not exist between mother and nanny.

 

[Luxian]

Okay, I don't speak from my own experience but I do have several friends with under-2yr-olds. Basically people have already mentioned a few things like cost and accreditation. One more thing to note is that if your child gets sick, the daycare may require you to take the child home so that they don't spread it to the other kids. Obviously if you're on call, this isn't going to work too well. A nanny is more flexible if you can afford it, but obviously doesn't provide the same peer-to-peer interaction a child would get in daycare. Pluses and minuses to all.

 

[lilnoelle]

I really like my daycare. I have my two children in an in home daycare that is run by a grandma/grandpa pair whom have ran a daycare for over ten years. They are just fantastic. We have similar values, religious beliefs and thoughts on discipline. The only thing that would be better for my kids is if they were with my parents.
My kids get to play with other kids and spend a lot more time outside than they would if they were home with me. They also eat better there than they would with me. (Home cooked foods - I'm not much of a cook).
This daycare is also not quite as quick to call me and tell me to pick up my child if they get the sniffles or something minor. She's pretty understanding about whats normal for a kid and what is not. My son tends to have a sensitive stomach and gets diarrhea easily (not because he's sick, just because he's sensitive to certain foods). This was an issue with my previous daycare but hasn't been with my current one.

I think it is possible to find a daycare that is great. Its also possible to find a nanny that is fantastic. You really just have to do some research and maybe some trial and error with different systems to see what works the best for you. (We've switched daycares two times since med school started two years ago. My first daycare was really bad, my second one wasn't the best, our current on is fantastic).

 

[miamia]

Since daycare, aupair and nanny exist, it means there is a demand for each of their service. To discuss which one is better, I think we need to look at things case to case.

1. how professional and experienced are they?
2. do you need them to do housework for you besides taking care of the baby?
3. how convenient are they? will you drive 25 minutes to the daycare or must the nanny stay at your house?

 

[cynthia1014]

Hello!
I would prefer daycare over nanny because daycare provides important social interaction for children. Teachers are usually trained and knows what children need. Daycare can introduce children to new foods, people, and experiences they might not have at home.
Thanks

 

[deleted343839]

Many people might move for school/residency with no extended family support. What have you done with your children (especially younger ones!) while you had to attend class/work? How are things working out?

I was in this situation (new city, no extended family support) and opted for daycare because I needed the reliability and couldn't afford one-on-one care at the time. In my case, one unexpected benefit was that it helped me meet other parents in my area, some of whom became friends as our children bonded over the years. I put my second child in a smaller, more homelike daycare and that was a good fit.

No matter what arrangement you choose, make sure you have a Plan B and a Plan C for sick days, closures, holidays, etc.