Army Dating a military doctor

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misskris05

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Good Evening,

I was hoping I could get some advice since this is a military thread. I recently started dating a doctor who is in the army studying emergency medicine. We are currently doing long distance because he is at a VA hospital training. What advice can you give or what can i expect? Besides the 3 hour time difference he is also in the ED most of the time with no cell service. I want to be a supportive as I can but it's hard to know what to expect.

Thank you for your help and for your service! :)

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While in residency it will be no different than dating a civilian resident, excpet he will likely put on a uniform to go to conference. You just have to make up your mind if you are that invested in this person to put up with the stressful residency schedule and the added stress of distance. After residency they will go to an assignment at a hospital or with a unit. Over a 4 year payback anticipate 2x deployments for 6-9 months each, or more frequent shorter deployments. Could get lucky and get no deployments, or could have bad luck and get more.

What else specifically would you like to know about?

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since he is studying emergency medicine they are having him train at multiple hospitals. How long does the army usually keep them at one place for? He wont know his duty station until December (Merry Christmas to us!). As far as communication goes, is not hearing from him a lot going to be normal between the ED and then outside work? Are things always going to be chaotic or are they going to get worse before they get better? Basically he said I am "a mistress to the hospital" right now.
 
Once he's done with residency, he'll likely fall into a comfortable schedule of 10-15 shifts/month plus whatever he does for moonlighting. Depending upon his duty station, maybe like 3 shifts per month. You'll continue not to hear much from him while he's at work because, you know, he's working. He might stay at one duty station for 3 years, or he might stay for 15 years, it really just depends upon the climate at the time. Historically, military physicians have been able to camp in one location for prolonged periods of time, though that concept has recently been challenged.
 
What surprised me was he started at madigan, was there for less than a month and then they sent him to a different hospital. So as far as training goes I'm not sure how often they are going to move him around. Dating someone in the medical field is new to me so I wasn't sure if I get two texts in two days if that's normal. He just said things would get worse before they get better.


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Yeah, sounds like you ought to be staking out his house. Maybe show up at his work and demand that he see you.
 
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Is he an intern (first year)? If so this year will be very hard. He will work 21 or more shifts a month plus be transitioning from nights to days frequently. If he is a senior, things will be easier. Either way he will be at different places a lot. Im not at madigan, but at my institution we do 6-7 away rotations each year. If being apart or little communication bothers you this much, maybe looke elsewhere than the army for a partner. Ive been in for 3 years and have been gone from my family for deployment and training for half that time.

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I wasn't sure if I get two texts in two days if that's normal.

no, that's not normal. takes 2 seconds to text. he's not *that* busy, lol.

this whole thing sets off my spidey sense.

--your friendly neighborhood crime fighter - holy **** just used it in context!- caveman
 
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2 texts in 2 days...girl I think it's time to move on
 
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no, that's not normal. takes 2 seconds to text. he's not *that* busy, lol.

this whole thing sets off my spidey sense.

Agreed. I am a surgeon in the OR for hours at a time and I manage to send more than 2 texts in 2 days to my husband. Emergency medicine definitely would have more time than I do.

Run away.
 
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