Bad Institutional Action

[Goro]

Of course those who get accepted this cycle will jump over the moon

And those who don't get accepted will have a cow about it

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[LizzyM]

It would be a udder catastrophe and I am gonna milk this joke for everything its got or until I steer it into a different direction. And that aint no bull

I'd say "God love ya'" but would that be entering the bull ring with a sacred cow?

 

[Goro]

I think that is rather a herd mentality and would simply lead lambs to the slaughter. I am usually sheepish about such things, even a little chicken. But here I need to be the bellwether before I am put out to pasture by shepherding these students thru the application process.

The Prince of Punnery sure knows how to make a silk purse from a sow's ear! But still, I am not cowed by him.

 

[RogueBanana]

I used to think I was good at puns, but you ADCOMs are next-level.

Nice to see there is room for humor in such a high-steaks environment such as this!

 

[Goro]

You cant get my goat as you aint got nothing to crow about. In fact, your are all quacked up and your goose is cooked

Got your dander up? No need to be catty about this. Otherwise, I'll just dog you about it. I'm not chicken about this, either. So, I don't want to hear another peep out of you!

 

[Toutie]

@gonnif and @Goro, you guys are the Laurel and Hardy of SDN. (most of the youngins' won't even get that reference)

 

[askdnk]

Lying, cheating, stealing or violence (harm to others) are the deal-breakers at my school.

So I am a person of color that went to college in a very rural area. Unfortunately my freshman year I was racially profiled for being a terrorist, as I volunteered in a lab and a student in my dorm complained to university police that I am planning to make a bomb which was simply false. After thorough investigation, I was found to be innocent and I have a clean police record. However, my university felt the need to give me a written warning, since I was explaining how gel electrophoresis works to my roommate and that was apparently taken out of context.

I am worried of being discriminated against even though I am clearly innocent because a written warning from my university. I do not have a record of it on my transcript or on my police record. Please advise

 

[Goro]

You're just as stubborn as a mule aint you?

Like a dog with a bone!

 

[Goro]

So I am a person of color that went to college in a very rural area. Unfortunately my freshman year I was racially profiled for being a terrorist, as I volunteered in a lab and a student in my dorm complained to university police that I am planning to make a bomb which was simply false. After thorough investigation, I was found to be innocent and I have a clean police record. However, my university felt the need to give me a written warning, since I was explaining how gel electrophoresis works to my roommate and that was apparently taken out of context.

I am worried of being discriminated against even though I am clearly innocent because a written warning from my university. I do not have a record of it on my transcript or on my police record. Please advise

This is something you have nothing to worry about. Racists and *****s, on the other hand, are a big concern.

 

[RogueBanana]

So I am a person of color that went to college in a very rural area. Unfortunately my freshman year I was racially profiled for being a terrorist, as I volunteered in a lab and a student in my dorm complained to university police that I am planning to make a bomb which was simply false. After thorough investigation, I was found to be innocent and I have a clean police record. However, my university felt the need to give me a written warning, since I was explaining how gel electrophoresis works to my roommate and that was apparently taken out of context.

I am worried of being discriminated against even though I am clearly innocent because a written warning from my university. I do not have a record of it on my transcript or on my police record. Please advise

I really hope you meant
"Racially profiled for being middle eastern"

 

[sullen-burger]

I thought you people had jobs. Is this why no one answers my calls or emails?

I'd say "God love ya'" but would that be entering the bull ring with a sacred cow?

I think that is rather a herd mentality and would simply lead lambs to the slaughter. I am usually sheepish about such things, even a little chicken. But here I need to be the bellwether before I am put out to pasture by shepherding these students thru the application process.

The Prince of Punnery sure knows how to make a silk purse from a sow's ear! But still, I am not cowed by him.

You cant get my goat as you aint got nothing to crow about. In fact, your are all quacked up and your goose is cooked

Got your dander up? No need to be catty about this. Otherwise, I'll just dog you about it. I'm not chicken about this, either. So, I don't want to hear another peep out of you!

 

[askdnk]

I really hope you meant
"Racially profiled for being middle eastern"

I am actually a dark Indian that looks more African American lol. It was the muslim name that really got me

 

[RogueBanana]

I am actually a dark Indian that looks more African American lol. It was the muslim name that really got me

I was joking, the way you wrote that sentence implied they were discriminating against you for actually being a terrorist versus just being a minority (Indian in your case, thanks for the correction)

 

[askdnk]

So since the written warning do I have to put myself down as Yes, I have been subjected to Institutional Action? Would med schools genuinely understand my side of the story?

I am also recovering from epilepsy so I am really worried as to how I would look on my app. Believe me, I really hope someone can see all my past hardships and see that I am still a qualifying applicant.

 

[5words]

The BS on this thread is insane! So much for the double standard, do you think the guy who goes around to rob a bank or steal a banana from Kroger and Get a "misdemeanor" or Felony depending on the case, gets the same treatment? OP is lucky in my book, i have seen people lives get destroyed for doing what OP has done because they were REALLY STARVING (i am talking 4 days without food).

 

[Goro]

I thought you people had jobs. Is this why no one answers my calls or emails?

It's easy to hop onto SDN when spinning cells or waiting for a gel to run.

So since the written warning do I have to put myself down as Yes, I have been subjected to Institutional Action? Would med schools genuinely understand my side of the story?

I am also recovering from epilepsy so I am really worried as to how I would look on my app. Believe me, I really hope someone can see all my past hardships and see that I am still a qualifying applicant.

This doesn't sound like an IA.
The epilepsy is none of our business. You do have to fulfill certain technical standards, so ask your doctor about this.

 

[Goro]

The BS on this thread is insane! So much for the double standard, do you think the guy who goes around to rob a bank or steal a banana from Kroger and Get a "misdemeanor" or Felony depending on the case, gets the same treatment? OP is lucky in my book, i have seen people lives get destroyed for doing what OP has done because they were REALLY STARVING (i am talking 4 days without food).

We are not making the news, just reporting it. We can't sugar coat unpleasant realities.

 

[5words]

We are not making the news, just reporting it.

I am actually siding with you guys, it kind of annoy me to see people complain about what the OP has done when other people had it worse. I just cant take the "starving excuse".

 

[askdnk]

It's easy to hop onto SDN when spinning cells or waiting for a gel to run.


This doesn't sound like an IA.
The epilepsy is none of our business. You do have to fulfill certain technical standards, so ask your doctor about this.

 

[aformerstudent]

I feel better about myself after reading this thread.

 

[cactusman]

I feel better about myself after reading this thread.

Interesting, because I formed a pretty negative impression of you from this thread.

 

[altblue]

Interesting, because I formed a pretty negative impression of you from this thread.

 

[Goro]

Interesting, because I formed a pretty negative impression of you from this thread.

 

[LizzyM]

So I am a person of color that went to college in a very rural area. Unfortunately my freshman year I was racially profiled for being a terrorist, as I volunteered in a lab and a student in my dorm complained to university police that I am planning to make a bomb which was simply false. After thorough investigation, I was found to be innocent and I have a clean police record. However, my university felt the need to give me a written warning, since I was explaining how gel electrophoresis works to my roommate and that was apparently taken out of context.

I am worried of being discriminated against even though I am clearly innocent because a written warning from my university. I do not have a record of it on my transcript or on my police record. Please advise

So since the written warning do I have to put myself down as Yes, I have been subjected to Institutional Action? Would med schools genuinely understand my side of the story?

I am also recovering from epilepsy so I am really worried as to how I would look on my app. Believe me, I really hope someone can see all my past hardships and see that I am still a qualifying applicant.

I am currently waiting the one year period of being seizure free. I have received the go ahead but I just hope my seizures are valid explanations for my suspended license (two accidents with seizures), and my lower grades from my freshman year (overall 3.2 and 3.1 science).

My university gave me a written warning from the whole issue, though.

OK, so we seem to have two things going on here.... one is that the school gave you some kind of written warning that certain behavior was unacceptable. You need to check with your school as to whether or not this meets the definition of an "institutional action". Read the AMCAS application instructions for more details. Some schools give a warning and make a note of it so that if you are caught again there is a record that it is your second offense and you had been warned in the past.

In the second matter, did those motor vehicle crashes result in criminal charges being brought against you? If you were convicted of a criminal act, you would have to report as misdemeanor or felony (whichever it was) on the AMCAS. Having a suspended license in and of itself does not have to be reported on the AMCAS application. Your medical history does not have to be reported on the AMCAS application.

 

[askdnk]

OK, so we seem to have two things going on here.... one is that the school gave you some kind of written warning that certain behavior was unacceptable. You need to check with your school as to whether or not this meets the definition of an "institutional action". Read the AMCAS application instructions for more details. Some schools give a warning and make a note of it so that if you are caught again there is a record that it is your second offense and you had been warned in the past.

In the second matter, did those motor vehicle crashes result in criminal charges being brought against you? If you were convicted of a criminal act, you would have to report as misdemeanor or felony (whichever it was) on the AMCAS. Having a suspended license in and of itself does not have to be reported on the AMCAS application. Your medical history does not have to be reported on the AMCAS application.

My university presented me with a written warning and there is a record of that, but I do not have anything on my transcript and police record in any shape or form.
As for my driving, I have no criminal charges currently against me.

And as for my research career I went back to nyc to work for my old lab that I had been working in high school and was thankful enough to put out a few publications. So hopefully it worked out for the better

 

[LizzyM]

My university presented me with a written warning and there is a record of that, but I do not have anything on my transcript and police record in any shape or form.
As for my driving, I have no criminal charges currently against me.

And as for my research career I went back to nyc to work for my old lab that I had been working in high school and was thankful enough to put out a few publications. So hopefully it worked out for the better

You should check with the university to determine if the written warning constitutes an "institutional action". If it does, just write that you were issued a written warning after someone accused you of planning to make a bomb because you were explaining to your roommate how gel electrophoresis works. It will give the adcom a good laugh at the stupidity of some people (not you, the person who reported you).

As for your driving, it is not what charges are currently against you but anything that happened in the past that might show up on a criminal background check. One of the most important things to know about the rules of medical training is "no surprises" (Bosk, 1979). That means that if there is something that your superiors are going to find out about eventually, they should hear it from you first.

 

[askdnk]

You should check with the university to determine if the written warning constitutes an "institutional action". If it does, just write that you were issued a written warning after someone accused you of planning to make a bomb because you were explaining to your roommate how gel electrophoresis works. It will give the adcom a good laugh at the stupidity of some people (not you, the person who reported you).

As for your driving, it is not what charges are currently against you but anything that happened in the past that might show up on a criminal background check. One of the most important things to know about the rules of medical training is "no surprises" (Bosk, 1979). That means that if there is something that your superiors are going to find out about eventually, they should hear it from you first.

Thank you so much! You have no idea how much anxiety you have relieved from me.

 

[mwsapphire]

I feel better about myself after reading this thread.

Ive noticed you're on probation as well! Join the club along with Goro
Cactusman getting SPIKEY (sorry I couldn't resist)

Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[Toutie]

Ive noticed you're on probation as well! Join the club along with Goro
Cactusman getting SPIKEY (sorry I couldn't resist)

Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

Well, better that you call @cactusman spikey than call him a prick.

 

[cactusman]

Well, better that you call @cactusman spikey than call him a prick.

I'm happy as long as no one says I'm a thorn in their side. I wouldnt really be annoyed by the sentiment, just the botanically inaccurate implication that cactus spines and thorns are the same structure.

 

[aformerstudent]

 

[slowlybutshelly]

This thread has made me wonder how anyone can get away unscathed. I have a schizoaffective sister who is delusional (thinks the banking industry collapse is because of her because her last name has bank in it). she has told the judge and courts that I want to ruin her life, and that I am threatening her life if she calls the cops on me. All I have to do is walk in and lock eyes with her; she strategically wants to conquer and dominate me. Two narc parents who don't want me more successful than they are. There is a lot of psychopathology going on in the world. must overcome...

 

[slowlybutshelly]

Darwin's Mistake
(author unknown)



Three monkeys sat on a coconut tree

Discussing things as they're said to be.

Said one to the others, "Now listen, you two,

There is a certain rumor that can't be true

That man descended from our noble race.

That very idea is a disgrace.

No monkey ever deserted his wife,

Starved her babies or ruined her life.

And another thing you will never see:

A monkey build a fence around a coconut tree

And let the coconuts go to waste

Forbidding all the other monkeys to taste.

If I put a fence around this tree,

Starvation would force you to steal from me.

Here's another thing a monkey won't do:

Go out at night and get on a stew,

And use a gun, or club, or knife

To take some other monkey's life.

Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss -

But, brother, he didn't descend from us.

​

 

[slowlybutshelly]

What is an IA?

This is interesting. What if someone stole a lot of electronics in high school and yet came out clean in college with no IA's and no bad records... assuming good stats, good ECs, good narrative etc. would this applicant be slammed for stealing in high school?

 

[LizzyM]

What is an IA?

Have you really been here 7 years and you don't know IA = Institutional Action, something that must be reported on the AMCAS application such as academic suspension, academic probation, or something as minor as being "written up" by your resident assistant (RA) for having an empty beer bottle in your dorm room.

 

[jordansnfootbal]

It was during business hours, put some food in my back pack and tried to walk out. They called me out on it and I gave up right away.

Lmaooooooooo bruh you joking? This must be due to multiple offenses. How you get an IA for taking some food like the school doesnt have better stuff to worry about

 

[aformerstudent]

Lmaooooooooo bruh you joking? This must be due to multiple offenses. How you get an IA for taking some food like the school doesnt have better stuff to worry about

I'm tempted to know what kind of food it was.

 

[B_52]

So my freshman year I did some stupid things. I had an alcohol violation, as well as a theft violation from one of the dining halls on campus. Not making excuses, but a parent was going through bankruptcy and borrowed money from me. I didn't have enough myself and I was going hungry. Stupid decision, and since then I have learned to budget and put away extra cash, and generally feel ashamed of it. I just graduated, am taking a gap year and applying to matriculate in 2018, so I have put some distance between myself and those experiences. My application looks good enough to get me in somewhere but I'm worried these blemishes will hurt me. I understand the alcohol one isn't that big of a deal but I'm worried it will mean more in conjunction with my theft one. Should I be worried?

Hi OP, just want to throw in my 2 cents here as a successful applicant who had a few IA's which I won't disclose on SDN. If you really and truly want to start your medical career and honestly feel that you have learned from your mistake, then there are still options beyond the 5 year reinvention plan. If you really feel like you want to be a doctor and feel that your IA's exclude you unfairly, I suggest you take a look at the international thread and especially at the UK/Ireland and European school threads. The schools in Europe are highly prestigious and there are many which design programs specifically for American students and have partnerships with top tier US institutions for away clinical electives. When I interviewed for my matriculating school (Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland), they don't even ask for IA's and run a comprehensive criminal background check instead. In fact, my adviser there when I asked her said they don't even want to hear about IA's as they understand that college students in a dorm are put in highly packed environments under a microscope of administration. I do encourage you to think very carefully about if you've truly learned from your mistakes though, as schools don't simply filter out IA's as a tool to make it easier to reject people, its a factor that may indicate a greater risk taken on a candidate who may do something stupid while enrolled and tarnish the school's reputation; and my suggestion here is no shortcut to fixing your own shortcomings.

I encourage you to check out the match statistics of these European schools as they are quite impressive and most are fully US accredited and eligible for full FAFSA funding for your education. This may be a better option for you, and if you're like me probably heard too many horror stories about living conditions and curriculum at Caribbean schools. The way I see it is if you really want to get into medicine and don't want to wait, this is a good option, as being an IMG and being at a disadvantage for matching competitive Derm, Ortho, etc. is better than sitting around feeling like you're in a purgatory of "reinvention" for several years.

Here is the application service for my particular school for Americans/Canadians: Medicine – Atlantic Bridge
Some homework on German, Polish, French, UK schools will probably find you some similar options (with English taught programs)


P.S. to my peers in the peanut gallery here, don't be so defensive to Goro and GynGyn for simply reporting on a harsh, but very real truth. If I had gotten some tough loving from my UG adviser, I wouldn't have wasted 2 cycles of US MD/DO applications thousands of dollars, and a small fortune on a post-bac just for a lost cause; and instead would have gone straight into the program which I'm in now.

 

[B_52]

Lmaooooooooo bruh you joking? This must be due to multiple offenses. How you get an IA for taking some food like the school doesnt have better stuff to worry about

I can assure you that many schools hire a person or group of people whos entire job revolves around handing student discipline. So, no they literally have absolutely nothing better to worry about.

 

[slowlybutshelly]

Have you really been here 7 years and you don't know IA = Institutional Action, something that must be reported on the AMCAS application such as academic suspension, academic probation, or something as minor as being "written up" by your resident assistant (RA) for having an empty beer bottle in your dorm room.

Have you really been here 7 years and you don't know IA = Institutional Action, something that must be reported on the AMCAS application such as academic suspension, academic probation, or something as minor as being "written up" by your resident assistant (RA) for having an empty beer bottle in your dorm room.

Yes.

Have you really been here 7 years and you don't know IA = Institutional Action, something that must be reported on the AMCAS application such as academic suspension, academic probation, or something as minor as being "written up" by your resident assistant (RA) for having an empty beer bottle in your dorm room.

I used an AMCAS application when I was 25, having just gotten an undergraduate degree. I was a Resident ADvisor and 'being written up' didn't exist when I was in 1984-88. The most I recall being responsible for was 'bringing to the attention the 'split personalities' (or students having serious mental health issues) to the live-in faculty advisors; who then reported issues to the psychiatry department.

I was admitted to a US school at age 27; but got involved with terrible faculty issues and had to finish my education in the Carribean. I am currently still trying to recover financially, emotionally, to try to salvage my career. I was traumatized by a set up, entrapment issue at my school that never ever existed in any other educational institution I have ever been to. And I couldn't finish probably because I had never heard of IA's. sigh naivety.

I also spent time out of the country in East Africa when 'things might have been changing'?

I am applying (relicensing - retaking Step1) for residency at a much older age than most people.

 

[slowlybutshelly]

MY undergrad institution was NO student discipline; or how did I get out of there unscathed? I filed an AMCAS in 1990. I never saw such a space for IA? Then again, my school; we had tests on Mondays so that we wouldn't go off campus and party on the weekends.

 

[slowlybutshelly]

What is the '5 year reinvention plan'?

Hi OP, just want to throw in my 2 cents here as a successful applicant who had a few IA's which I won't disclose on SDN. If you really and truly want to start your medical career and honestly feel that you have learned from your mistake, then there are still options beyond the 5 year reinvention plan. If you really feel like you want to be a doctor and feel that your IA's exclude you unfairly, I suggest you take a look at the international thread and especially at the UK/Ireland and European school threads. The schools in Europe are highly prestigious and there are many which design programs specifically for American students and have partnerships with top tier US institutions for away clinical electives. When I interviewed for my matriculating school (Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland), they don't even ask for IA's and run a comprehensive criminal background check instead. In fact, my adviser there when I asked her said they don't even want to hear about IA's as they understand that college students in a dorm are put in highly packed environments under a microscope of administration. I do encourage you to think very carefully about if you've truly learned from your mistakes though, as schools don't simply filter out IA's as a tool to make it easier to reject people, its a factor that may indicate a greater risk taken on a candidate who may do something stupid while enrolled and tarnish the school's reputation; and my suggestion here is no shortcut to fixing your own shortcomings.

I encourage you to check out the match statistics of these European schools as they are quite impressive and most are fully US accredited and eligible for full FAFSA funding for your education. This may be a better option for you, and if you're like me probably heard too many horror stories about living conditions and curriculum at Caribbean schools. The way I see it is if you really want to get into medicine and don't want to wait, this is a good option, as being an IMG and being at a disadvantage for matching competitive Derm, Ortho, etc. is better than sitting around feeling like you're in a purgatory of "reinvention" for several years.

Here is the application service for my particular school for Americans/Canadians: Medicine – Atlantic Bridge
Some homework on German, Polish, French, UK schools will probably find you some similar options (with English taught programs)


P.S. to my peers in the peanut gallery here, don't be so defensive to Goro and GynGyn for simply reporting on a harsh, but very real truth. If I had gotten some tough loving from my UG adviser, I wouldn't have wasted 2 cycles of US MD/DO applications thousands of dollars, and a small fortune on a post-bac just for a lost cause; and instead would have gone straight into the program which I'm in now.

RE: living conditions in Carribean schools. I practically lived in a mud hut whilst getting loans to pay back loans. nightmare

Hi OP, just want to throw in my 2 cents here as a successful applicant who had a few IA's which I won't disclose on SDN. If you really and truly want to start your medical career and honestly feel that you have learned from your mistake, then there are still options beyond the 5 year reinvention plan. If you really feel like you want to be a doctor and feel that your IA's exclude you unfairly, I suggest you take a look at the international thread and especially at the UK/Ireland and European school threads. The schools in Europe are highly prestigious and there are many which design programs specifically for American students and have partnerships with top tier US institutions for away clinical electives. When I interviewed for my matriculating school (Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland), they don't even ask for IA's and run a comprehensive criminal background check instead. In fact, my adviser there when I asked her said they don't even want to hear about IA's as they understand that college students in a dorm are put in highly packed environments under a microscope of administration. I do encourage you to think very carefully about if you've truly learned from your mistakes though, as schools don't simply filter out IA's as a tool to make it easier to reject people, its a factor that may indicate a greater risk taken on a candidate who may do something stupid while enrolled and tarnish the school's reputation; and my suggestion here is no shortcut to fixing your own shortcomings.

I encourage you to check out the match statistics of these European schools as they are quite impressive and most are fully US accredited and eligible for full FAFSA funding for your education. This may be a better option for you, and if you're like me probably heard too many horror stories about living conditions and curriculum at Caribbean schools. The way I see it is if you really want to get into medicine and don't want to wait, this is a good option, as being an IMG and being at a disadvantage for matching competitive Derm, Ortho, etc. is better than sitting around feeling like you're in a purgatory of "reinvention" for several years.

Here is the application service for my particular school for Americans/Canadians: Medicine – Atlantic Bridge
Some homework on German, Polish, French, UK schools will probably find you some similar options (with English taught programs)


P.S. to my peers in the peanut gallery here, don't be so defensive to Goro and GynGyn for simply reporting on a harsh, but very real truth. If I had gotten some tough loving from my UG adviser, I wouldn't have wasted 2 cycles of US MD/DO applications thousands of dollars, and a small fortune on a post-bac just for a lost cause; and instead would have gone straight into the program which I'm in now.

 

[slowlybutshelly]

I have a publication from a lab I worked at whilst in undergrad. The Neurology Dept at Duke. But my mentor has died and I just don't think I could ever back. NO family in the state; etc. I am having trouble figuring out where to go next.

You should check with the university to determine if the written warning constitutes an "institutional action". If it does, just write that you were issued a written warning after someone accused you of planning to make a bomb because you were explaining to your roommate how gel electrophoresis works. It will give the adcom a good laugh at the stupidity of some people (not you, the person who reported you).

As for your driving, it is not what charges are currently against you but anything that happened in the past that might show up on a criminal background check. One of the most important things to know about the rules of medical training is "no surprises" (Bosk, 1979). That means that if there is something that your superiors are going to find out about eventually, they should hear it from you first.

 

[slowlybutshelly]

I have a lunatic sister. She is delusional. She thinks the banking industry collapse is because of her because her last name has 'bank' in it. I am the child of 2 Narcissists unfortunately (basically cluster A and B stuff in my immediate family). One parent made it through law school. MY mother decided she doesn't want me to talk about 'medicine' around her; she long ago decided I couldn't be a better mother than she is; certainly not a doctor. No one has ever called the police on me. except recently. My mother decided that she wanted to move and did not want me to know where she lived. so...off she goes to the nursing home because she thinks 'the child she invested in (my parents are 'invested in me') as I am supposed to buy them the house they couldn't get etc. Before going to the nursing home, my mother and sister lived together; Mom invited me but didn't tell my sister. can you say psychopathology?
I said 'hi to my sister' and she goes into a room full of people (aunt father etc) and says 'for the record I am going to call the police on shelly..'
well of course I left, I called the police. They told me to file an order of protective custody against her. I did. Narcissistic father intervened and prohibited the police from sending her to get mentally evaluated. Instead she files a restraining order against me; writing that I am threatening her life and that i want to ruin my family's lives. and that I threatened her life if she called the cops on me. There is no evidence whatsoever; it is all 'in her head'. worst case of schiozaffective disorder with 'strategic conquering and domination' subconscious issues. I sought advice from the DA, went to court and fortunately let her, my father, mother expose themselves with the personality disorders they have. and nothing went on my record. But now, the DA has told me 'to stay away from them'. People in the community (alanon meetings and COdependents anonymous meetings) have called my family 'pit vipers in a snake pit'. I am SO hurt. AMbulance workers and people I know in the health field have said 'how could your family do this to you?. I am beating myself up because I am so naive and just so GOOD that I ingored a lot of this in childhood; even though I would sit in a corner and sob with conflict going on all around me.

I did all my clinical rotations up and down the East coast, away from family. Away from immediate family I have always functioned well. Then after Katrina, I made the decision to move back around them. It has been a hard seven years; discovering they 'pool resources and decision making' without me. The msot recent example is that mom, dad, bro are pooling resources for my sister to go live with a friend in CA indefinitely. NO job, no ???

I paid my sisters rent after she went bankrupt whilst i was in medical school. My entire family lived off my student loans. I let them.

I am going to ALANON and codependents anonymous. BUT if you have other suggestions for me 'to stay out of trouble' that would be great. Thanks.

No one in my family will go to counseling. I am the only who goes. I am single because of all of this; sensitive, shy, trying to match...

 

[cactusman]

I have a lunatic sister. She is delusional. She thinks the banking industry collapse is because of her because her last name has 'bank' in it. I am the child of 2 Narcissists unfortunately (basically cluster A and B stuff in my immediate family). One parent made it through law school. MY mother decided she doesn't want me to talk about 'medicine' around her; she long ago decided I couldn't be a better mother than she is; certainly not a doctor. No one has ever called the police on me. except recently. My mother decided that she wanted to move and did not want me to know where she lived. so...off she goes to the nursing home because she thinks 'the child she invested in (my parents are 'invested in me') as I am supposed to buy them the house they couldn't get etc. Before going to the nursing home, my mother and sister lived together; Mom invited me but didn't tell my sister. can you say psychopathology?
I said 'hi to my sister' and she goes into a room full of people (aunt father etc) and says 'for the record I am going to call the police on shelly..'
well of course I left, I called the police. They told me to file an order of protective custody against her. I did. Narcissistic father intervened and prohibited the police from sending her to get mentally evaluated. Instead she files a restraining order against me; writing that I am threatening her life and that i want to ruin my family's lives. and that I threatened her life if she called the cops on me. There is no evidence whatsoever; it is all 'in her head'. worst case of schiozaffective disorder with 'strategic conquering and domination' subconscious issues. I sought advice from the DA, went to court and fortunately let her, my father, mother expose themselves with the personality disorders they have. and nothing went on my record. But now, the DA has told me 'to stay away from them'. People in the community (alanon meetings and COdependents anonymous meetings) have called my family 'pit vipers in a snake pit'. I am SO hurt. AMbulance workers and people I know in the health field have said 'how could your family do this to you?. I am beating myself up because I am so naive and just so GOOD that I ingored a lot of this in childhood; even though I would sit in a corner and sob with conflict going on all around me.

I did all my clinical rotations up and down the East coast, away from family. Away from immediate family I have always functioned well. Then after Katrina, I made the decision to move back around them. It has been a hard seven years; discovering they 'pool resources and decision making' without me. The msot recent example is that mom, dad, bro are pooling resources for my sister to go live with a friend in CA indefinitely. NO job, no ???

I paid my sisters rent after she went bankrupt whilst i was in medical school. My entire family lived off my student loans. I let them.

I am going to ALANON and codependents anonymous. BUT if you have other suggestions for me 'to stay out of trouble' that would be great. Thanks.

No one in my family will go to counseling. I am the only who goes. I am single because of all of this; sensitive, shy, trying to match...

It sounds like you've got a lot to rant about but unfortunately I don't think anyone here is going to be more helpful than counseling on these issues (unless you have some more specific questions that might be best in their own thread).

 

[5words]

I have a lunatic sister. She is delusional. She thinks the banking industry collapse is because of her because her last name has 'bank' in it. I am the child of 2 Narcissists unfortunately (basically cluster A and B stuff in my immediate family). One parent made it through law school. MY mother decided she doesn't want me to talk about 'medicine' around her; she long ago decided I couldn't be a better mother than she is; certainly not a doctor. No one has ever called the police on me. except recently. My mother decided that she wanted to move and did not want me to know where she lived. so...off she goes to the nursing home because she thinks 'the child she invested in (my parents are 'invested in me') as I am supposed to buy them the house they couldn't get etc. Before going to the nursing home, my mother and sister lived together; Mom invited me but didn't tell my sister. can you say psychopathology?
I said 'hi to my sister' and she goes into a room full of people (aunt father etc) and says 'for the record I am going to call the police on shelly..'
well of course I left, I called the police. They told me to file an order of protective custody against her. I did. Narcissistic father intervened and prohibited the police from sending her to get mentally evaluated. Instead she files a restraining order against me; writing that I am threatening her life and that i want to ruin my family's lives. and that I threatened her life if she called the cops on me. There is no evidence whatsoever; it is all 'in her head'. worst case of schiozaffective disorder with 'strategic conquering and domination' subconscious issues. I sought advice from the DA, went to court and fortunately let her, my father, mother expose themselves with the personality disorders they have. and nothing went on my record. But now, the DA has told me 'to stay away from them'. People in the community (alanon meetings and COdependents anonymous meetings) have called my family 'pit vipers in a snake pit'. I am SO hurt. AMbulance workers and people I know in the health field have said 'how could your family do this to you?. I am beating myself up because I am so naive and just so GOOD that I ingored a lot of this in childhood; even though I would sit in a corner and sob with conflict going on all around me.

I did all my clinical rotations up and down the East coast, away from family. Away from immediate family I have always functioned well. Then after Katrina, I made the decision to move back around them. It has been a hard seven years; discovering they 'pool resources and decision making' without me. The msot recent example is that mom, dad, bro are pooling resources for my sister to go live with a friend in CA indefinitely. NO job, no ???

I paid my sisters rent after she went bankrupt whilst i was in medical school. My entire family lived off my student loans. I let them.

I am going to ALANON and codependents anonymous. BUT if you have other suggestions for me 'to stay out of trouble' that would be great. Thanks.

No one in my family will go to counseling. I am the only who goes. I am single because of all of this; sensitive, shy, trying to match...

wow, that's a lot! Anyways, happy to see you here.

 

[sadeghayoubi]

Wait, what? Does your school make you pay for food outside of a meal plan? My school has meal plans and I regularly walk out with a backpack full of apples, multiple ice cream bars, etc., and no one cares.

Exactly. I wish his dining hall was like our so he would have not gotten in trouble.

 

[Nerdeka]

what exactly did OP steal? I've seen people fill multiple bottles and damn near half the pastries.

 

[B_52]

What is the '5 year reinvention plan'?

RE: living conditions in Carribean schools. I practically lived in a mud hut whilst getting loans to pay back loans. nightmare

Its justt a catchphrase that some of the senior members on here like to throw around. Basically 5 years is just the arbitrary amount of time that they say it takes for adcoms to see IA'S as a past version of yourself if you do a lot of good stuff. Theres some truth to it as a reality, but I think its a bs approach to IA's. Hence my decision to just go to a prestigious European school instead

 

[slowlybutshelly]

Thank you. I have a counselor in real life. weedling away at the issues. Can I complain more? my 74 yr old mother fell and broke her femur and wrist; orthopedic surgeon said it was the longest titanium rod he ever had to cut to put in someone's leg

wow, that's a lot! Anyways, happy to see you here.