Disclaimer: Not asking for medical advice, just venting and explaining the situation.
I took my dog to his internist for his q6month exam, bloodwork, and ultrasound. We diagnosed IBD and an adrenal nodule about 18 months ago. At his last recheck in February, the nodule hadn't grown since it was discovered (about a year prior to that recheck) and his bloodwork was great. At today's visit, his nodule is officially large enough to be called a mass and has doubled in size over the last six months. He also has some subclinical signs of Cushing's too...a mildly enlarged, more heterogeneous on ultrasound and his contralateral adrenal is slightly smaller than last time. How bloodwork is still pending, and we're doing a low dose dex test to test for Cushing's tomorrow, but the internist has recommended an adrenalectomy. On one hand, my rational brain tells me I'd rather do it now while the tumor is smaller and isn't invading his vena cava. But the other part of me is terrified that I'm going to take my dog who currently has no overt clinical signs of Cushing's to surgery for something that isn't even a big problem yet and he's not going to make it because it isn't an easy surgery and I'm going to feel so guilty. But then I think how he will likely be cured if they do get it out, and we wouldn't have to mess around with medical management of Cushing's the rest of his life. I had a feeling this would be recommended at some point so I have been saving for a possible surgery, plus I get 50% off at this specialty hospital since they consider me a 'referring veterinarian' even though I'm not in clinical practice, so luckily cost isn't a big factor for me on this. Deep down I know I'll almost certainly do what they recommend. I just have a hard time behaving like a rational doctor when it's my own dog...I sorta expected this outcome but I've still had a couple minor freakout moments tonight. Guess we'll just wait to see what tomorrow's tests show and go from there.