advice about having a baby?

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lilnubbins

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Hello, I am having a struggle with making a decision on if I should have a baby next year during my last year of school or if I should wait. I am hoping to get a little advice/info on how other have managed in a similar situation as I am faced with. I am starting my last year of school and my husband is in his first year of residency and we are talking about having a baby. I have worked out where I can take the month of February off and then then next three months are just finishing up some senior testing and seminars - nothing big. So, my thought was to plan to have a baby in February and then I would have a few months before I have to start my residency (so my baby would be about 4 months old going to day care full time instead of 4 weeks old if I were to have a baby in residency). I am wondering if it will hurt my chances at a residency program if I go to the interview 8 months pregnant? Another concern of mine is, with both my husband and me in residency, how does it work if he is on call and has to stay at the hospital over night and I get called in during the middle of the night? What do I do with the baby? Any suggestions? Same thing goes for if the baby gets sick and can't go to daycare, is it acceptable to call in during residency and say "my baby is sick, I'm not coming in today"? I anyone has been through this before, please let me know, I would really like your input. Thanks!

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Hello, I am having a struggle with making a decision on if I should have a baby next year during my last year of school or if I should wait. I am hoping to get a little advice/info on how other have managed in a similar situation as I am faced with. I am starting my last year of school and my husband is in his first year of residency and we are talking about having a baby. I have worked out where I can take the month of February off and then then next three months are just finishing up some senior testing and seminars - nothing big. So, my thought was to plan to have a baby in February and then I would have a few months before I have to start my residency (so my baby would be about 4 months old going to day care full time instead of 4 weeks old if I were to have a baby in residency). I am wondering if it will hurt my chances at a residency program if I go to the interview 8 months pregnant? Another concern of mine is, with both my husband and me in residency, how does it work if he is on call and has to stay at the hospital over night and I get called in during the middle of the night? What do I do with the baby? Any suggestions? Same thing goes for if the baby gets sick and can't go to daycare, is it acceptable to call in during residency and say "my baby is sick, I'm not coming in today"? I anyone has been through this before, please let me know, I would really like your input. Thanks!

Do you have family that lives nearby that can help you out? If so, I think it is completely doable. I myself got pregnant last August and decided to still apply to pharmacy school since I have a strong family support system. However, sadly my boyfriend and I lost the pregnancy, but I am thinking about doing the same thing you are, trying for a baby my last year of prefessional school. I luck out a little bit in that I won't have to contend with trying to do residency at the same time though. If your or his parents are within driving distance, I am sure that they would be more than willing to help you out.
 
The popular image is that pregnant women are happy, serene and content, but for some women pregnancy can be a time of stress, anxiety and depression.But the possible effect on your baby is one of the reasons your mental health during pregnancy should be taken seriously and treatment offered where necessary.
 
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Start taking folic acid for a healthy conception process, even if you decide not to get pregnant it wont hurt. Be a parent is something serious, you have think not just if you are ready to be a mom but if you can offer your baby what he needs. A house, a healthy enviroment and love.

If your economic status is fine, you have a home and you are willing to love him or she and you think you are ready go for it. Think about how this would affect your relationship with your partner. My biggest issue after my bay was born was that i wished i had more time with my partner alone before i had the baby. But if you too are ready no one can tell you different. Good Luck!
 
You cannot plan for a baby like that. Conception usually does not happen when you want it to. A significant percentage of couples need 6 to 12 cycles before getting pregnant. Having the mental stressor of having to conceive within a certain timeframe is almost a guarantee that you won't.

If you and your husband feel ready for a child, by all means go for it. It has been done before countless times and you will also manage to work it out, residency or not.

But please, abandon the notion that you can plan conceiving and delivering your child in a particular month. You are setting yourself up for a lot of stress and disappointment.
 
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You cannot plan for a baby like that. Conception usually does not happen when you want it to. A significant percentage of couples need 6 to 12 cycles before getting pregnant. Having the mental stressor of having to conceive within a certain timeframe is almost a guarantee that you won't.

If you and your husband feel ready for a child, by all means go for it. It has been done before countless times and you will also manage to work it out, residency or not.

But please, abandon the notion that you can plan conceiving and delivering your child in a particular month. You are setting yourself up for a lot of stress and disappointment.
hehe that is true. You don't get pregnant when you want to....but you seem to get pregnant when you really don't want to.;)

You cannot plan parenting like you plan med school. It does not fit into tight schedules so easily and is not as regulated as you might hope. It is chaotic, stressful, sleepless nights, frustrating, messy, time consuming, overwhelming and the most important thing in your life. It is a blessing and it is wonderful, but it is not easy unless your a parent that doesnt care and never interacts with them.

Have a baby when you are both ready, their is no such thing as the perfect time. When both of you want to take that step and you are ready emotionally, financially etc. go for it.
 
It requires a lot of precautions and care during preganacy. It completely depends upon you, how you are going to manage these things. If there are more familiy members staying with you, then, surely it will be more helpful for your decision. And beyond all this it will be better to have mutual understanding of you and your husband.
 
I think it's not possible to make such an excuse. I think its better (and safer) to plan having a baby after graduating. Nothing to rush I suppose. Also janedoedoctor is correct, you can't just say you want a baby and Boom it comes! There are a lot of things to consider and complicating your situation wont do you good.

Also getting pregnant is a seriouse and delicate event. Have it at least when you're not dealing with too much stress.
 
We are both residents, had fist child in 4th yr and expecting another one during PGY2.

There is not ideal time. I think the only period where it would be the most stressful would be delivering during your internship year when schedule is the heaviest. 4th year med school is the easiest time you will have.

I think it is a big mistake that physicians make by waiting until they are attendings thinking how somehow there will be less stress. As attending the only benefit if higher salary. There is still stress from responsibility, especially as a young attending. Also it is harder to find coverage, as it is easier with large residency. Also you will be older. Having kids before 30 is different than waiting.

Once you have a child you will either have family heavily helping or have most of the childcare by daycare or nanny. But if you want daycare or nanny both of you better be working. Full time babysitter is >$1500/mo and less for daycare (unless you take your child to some really bad daycare).
 
It's simple and accurate. That's why they say there's never a perfect time for having a baby, but most are glad they had them. We chose to have our children when we were 25 and 27. (Our youngest is 4 months old, so we're still in the beginning leg of the journey.) We don't drive nice cars like our peers. We have to keep a strict budget. We pay more in childcare costs than in rent. At the end of they day, however, we're happy with our decision.
 
Hello, I am having a struggle with making a decision on if I should have a baby next year during my last year of school or if I should wait. I am hoping to get a little advice/info on how other have managed in a similar situation as I am faced with. I am starting my last year of school and my husband is in his first year of residency and we are talking about having a baby. I have worked out where I can take the month of February off and then then next three months are just finishing up some senior testing and seminars - nothing big. So, my thought was to plan to have a baby in February and then I would have a few months before I have to start my residency (so my baby would be about 4 months old going to day care full time instead of 4 weeks old if I were to have a baby in residency). I am wondering if it will hurt my chances at a residency program if I go to the interview 8 months pregnant? Another concern of mine is, with both my husband and me in residency, how does it work if he is on call and has to stay at the hospital over night and I get called in during the middle of the night? What do I do with the baby? Any suggestions? Same thing goes for if the baby gets sick and can't go to daycare, is it acceptable to call in during residency and say "my baby is sick, I'm not coming in today"? I anyone has been through this before, please let me know, I would really like your input. Thanks!

As a chief resident who is responsible for scheduling, it is absolutely not OK to plan to call out anytime your baby is sick. Once or twice gets a pass (but may well screw your co-residents), more than that is not OK. As for what to do with the baby if you and your husband both have to work at night, perhaps a night time nanny? Live near a family member who can fill in? Some programs are more flexible than others in making call schedules that have you and your significant other on call different nights so someone is always available for child care, too. But I would find out about this up front and would not expect it to happen 100% of the time.
 
if you can time it that way it does sound like a good idea, so you can be home a lot with your child before starting intern year. you will probably be ok with interviewing because you will be so obviously pregnant that you can joke with them that the baby will be born way before you start and they don't have to worry about maternity leave. as far as child care unless you have family that can do random nights and weekends that you will be living really close to a daycare would be really hard to use with a two resident parent family - all of my friends who are married to another resident use a nanny, expensive as hell but there will be times you will both be on call or both on nights and daycares just aren't open at that time. and calling out because your kid is sick - N O - you need to find alternative care options (IE nanny or family member who is willing to care for your sick kid) and if it does happen on the off occasion you need to pay that time back by working for whoever had to fill in for you, because even if the person says they understand and dont act mad that still stinks to work even more hours when we are already basically living at the hospital
 
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