Accused of trying to be wonder woman

Discussion in 'Women in Healthcare' started by MangoSupasonic, Jan 12, 2017.

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  1. DrCommonSense

    DrCommonSense

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    Here's the peer reviewed article link too:

    Mating markets and bargaining hands: Mate preferences for attractiveness and resources in two national U.S. studies

    Summary: Rich women STRONGLY go for rich/"good career" males, Rich men go for slender and younger women.

    Not too complicated.

    Ergo, richer/higher income males often DONT value high income in their partner compared to slender/youthfulness likely due to wanting a family from a biological perspective.

    Women of all socioeconomic classes want men who earn equal or often MORE than they do as a primary motivator for commitment. This correlation is STRONGER for HIGHER income women.
     
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  3. cj_cregg

    cj_cregg 2+ Year Member

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    Last edited: Jun 3, 2017
    DokterMom likes this.
  4. DrCommonSense

    DrCommonSense

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    So if a man who makes plenty of money as a physician doesn't really care about money in a mate but is more concerned mostly with a "slender body" and a "good looking" female (educated men had the HIGHEST correlation with that statistic), wouldn't those docs mostly go for younger, slender looking trophy wives as their most desirable goal?

    According to the survey, this is their highest value in a female they want to marry/date.
     
  5. DrCommonSense

    DrCommonSense

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    Also, here is an article from psychology today:

    Very Wealthy Men Marry Much Younger Women

    Wealthy men who presumably have their choices of women will marry FAR YOUNGER women as second wives.

    Ergo, wealthy men/high income men overall have a high correlation with interest in slender and younger women.

    The trade off appears to benefit both parties considering they are often able to achieve that goal due to the value that the younger/slender women put on wealth.
     
  6. cj_cregg

    cj_cregg 2+ Year Member

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    Last edited: Jun 3, 2017
  7. DrCommonSense

    DrCommonSense

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    Your statement was in two parts:

    1) Your conservative rural guys didn't want a high income female. My solution: look for liberal open minded poorer guys that are willing to be house husbands. Problem solved.

    2) You claim that people of similar income brackets have "more in common" and therefore "are good mates". My answer: This is an incorrect assessment for the values that "educated" and "rich" men hold the HIGHEST. Sure women will often want a male with similar or higher income (particularly when they are high income themselves) as their highest ideals but NOT men ON AVERAGE.

    Ergo, I linked the article showing the strong correlation between rich men and younger/slender wives. Richer men are usually less interested in "common interests" with similar income/aged women compared to younger/slender women.

    That is why I linked multiple articles confirming that assessment.

    These are AVERAGES obviously so please don't come back with exceptions that will fall outside of these. They are called EXCEPTIONS for a reason.

    There is where the major disconnect is for female physicians.
     
  8. cj_cregg

    cj_cregg 2+ Year Member

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    Last edited: Jun 3, 2017
  9. DrCommonSense

    DrCommonSense

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    1) Ok not all men like career women. And?
    2) Umm don't get the point
     
  10. na1433

    na1433

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    Having a job does not equal to abandoning your kids. You can choose a speciality that has better hours if your worried. Family practice, dermatology, or others. Ik alot of women who worry about family and being a doctor, but its manageable. My mom doubts me all the time on my decisions because she worries, and i think thats all it is. I think you should keep going.
     
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  11. Gliabelle

    Gliabelle Dork Supreme 2+ Year Member

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    Wow, this thread sure is a ****show of irrelevant opinions that have nothing to do with the OP's situation. She already has her kids and her husband, so "leaving the workforce after she has kids" is a moot point, as is any blather about marrying up or down. OP, I went back to college after my divorce, when my youngest kid was 8 and my oldest was 13. I spent five years getting three BS degrees with honors, and am now halfway through an MS in neurobiology, and strongly considering applying to MD/PhD programs. I am re-partnered, and my partner is a med-school-bound 2nd year biochemistry undergrad with two sons; I am largely supporting the family on a graduate scholarship, as well as various TA and RA appointments, until he graduates. A close friend finished her MD program around the time I started school, and had her first baby during her third year. She got the residency she wanted, and did a third year as chief resident, then went into private practice as a primary care physician. She just had her second child last year, the kids are beautifully bonded to her, she's a great mom, and the family is doing fabulously well. Don't let anyone's wishy-washy insecurities and discouragement hold you back from your ambitions; there are risks involved in every endeavor worth doing. Many people have surprisingly negative gut reactions to people who make choices that are different from their own, because they feel like it invalidates their choices, so you can expect to hear a lot of criticism and discouragement. Devote yourself to doing well academically, and find programs that offer financial support to assist with medical school debt. Apply for everything! The best thing about this process is that while I have always been very close with my children, they have also expressed so much pride in me and encouragement for what I'm doing that no matter how discouraged I feel sometimes, especially by social attitudes (just this week a colleague asked me to babysit for him on Friday because his wife is out of town!) my children's admiration and love drives me to keep pushing forward to accomplish my goals. Anyway, that was a really long-winded way of saying that you can definitely do this, and your children not only won't suffer but there is research that strongly indicates that your successful pursuit of your goals will result in them, too, pursuing higher ambitions.
     
  12. DrCommonSense

    DrCommonSense

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    I wouldn't count on derm in any plans
     
  13. DrCommonSense

    DrCommonSense

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    You have kids that are 8 and 13 with only being in a masters program? How old are you at this point?

    I also assume you have zero assets and most likely a decent amount of debt.

    If you are in the mid-late 30s before even starting an MD/PHD program, you would be mid 40s before getting out even into a residency with huge debts.

    How would you ever pay down your loans? This is considering you never get sick or have any hiccups along the way.

    These stories on here are NOT practical from a financial standpoint.
     
  14. DokterMom

    DokterMom 2+ Year Member

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    Interesting contribution -


    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    @Gliabelle - Thank you for your inspiring story. It's clear your success also inspires others... :confused:
     
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  15. MangoSupasonic

    MangoSupasonic

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    I log in after a month or so and see a fire storm. Yikes!
     
  16. MangoSupasonic

    MangoSupasonic

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    I think I failed to mention that I'm currently picking up the slack so that he can finish his academic/career goals. So I totally agree with your comment, it's a give and take and being totally honest with one another.
     
  17. RuralMedicine

    RuralMedicine Senior Member Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

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    I am the female half of a dual physician couple. We divide up parenting responsibilities and household duties in a way that works for us and our professional responsibilities. We're both very involved parents and we work together and adapt to make it work for our family. It isn't always easy but it is possible and very worth it.
     
  18. iqe2010

    iqe2010 7+ Year Member

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    I know of a female surgeon who was a single mother of 2 young kids when she began her journey to become a physician. Her story was very inspirational.

    Good luck, OP.
     

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