A little vent

[VenusinFurs]

So I mostly just need to vent a little, I don't really need advice.

My boyfriend and I started out as long distance and are still in that boat. I love my current job and don't really want to move. I love him very much and want to marry him and have babies and etc. Due to a rough start, he was in the military for several years and is now getting a bachelors degree. He dreams of becoming a neurosurgeon. I am 28. My parents hate this situation and I understand why, but I don't want to marry or make babies with anyone else.

Venting over.

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[bumblebee611]

So I mostly just need to vent a little, I don't really need advice.

My boyfriend and I started out as long distance and are still in that boat. I love my current job and don't really want to move. I love him very much and want to marry him and have babies and etc. Due to a rough start, he was in the military for several years and is now getting a bachelors degree. He dreams of becoming a neurosurgeon. I am 28. My parents hate this situation and I understand why, but I don't want to marry or make babies with anyone else.

Venting over.

And I too am sorry that you're going through your difficult situation. How long have you been together? I'm hopeful for you that you'll make it. I used to be a lawyer before starting medical school and one of my good friends, after becoming a lawyer, met her now husband who at that time had not gone to college. He's since finished college and master's degree and has a great job, she made partner at a solid firm, and they're happily expecting their second child. It CAN be done.

 

[J ROD]

so many females with doctorates want to marry down......

 

[DokterMom]

so many females with doctorates want to marry down......

Consider how narrow the pool is when you insist on marrying equal or better -- Then also consider the demands of a high-pressure job makes on your time and mental resources. Then multiply by two. Or marry "down" and have a partner with more free time and the ability not to have to think about his work when he's not actually working.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was from my friend and neighbor who happened to be a psychiatrist married to a surgeon. I was recently divorced from a very successful 'finance guy' and had just started rebound dating a blue collar man without a college degree. I was really enjoying him, but figured we had a negligible chance of long term success given the disparity in our educational and career backgrounds. She told me not to write him off so quickly, as having one spouse not be so career-driven proved often to be a very successful strategy. Yeah, it was more often the woman who was less career-driven, but it never bothered me to "have to" work, and my income was sufficient. So I gave it a chance -- and it's worked out beautifully. I'm happier than I ever dreamed I could be. The only real downside has been finding compatible couple friends --

 

[J ROD]

 

[VenusinFurs]

so many females with doctorates want to marry down......

The female of the species has been known to copulate with males who are reimbursed less